Doubt

The circus was GREAT!!! I REALLY enjoyed it! There were some jokes that I still don’t understand because they are 100% Mexican, but I still laughed like crazy. Mostly for my comp. He has the weirdest laugh. All people around us were staring at him and probably wondering if he was high or drunk. That just made me laugh even more. It’s kind of a high pitched woody the woodpecker kind of sound.

As for the transfers, my comp and I are both leaving. And the whole district except for 1 which is a REALLY radical change since we are ALL pretty dern new. But what the Lord commands we do so here we go. I kinda wanted to finish my mission here, but I’m pretty excited to leave too. After the Elder Gonzalez Fiasco of this year, I think the Lord knows that this area needs a fresh start. I know I didn`t say that I was having problems with him, but that’s because I had faith that it would end about this time with the changes.

One of my best friends here in the mish is going home tomorrow and that just freaks me out. He served in New Mexico before coming here for visa problems so we actually got here to MX about the same time. We were almost always there in the same zone or something so it will be weird not being able to call him up and talk or something. On top of that, he has been my ZL for the past 2 changes so we got to hang out even more. We were talking about gaming one time and we found out that we had played many times together on the Warcraft Battle.net. We both hosted games a few times so we were on each other’s turf. That was just a cool little thing to find out. Haha.

(a letter from July 23)

In Sacrament Meeting yesterday, one of the YSA stood up and started talking about doubt. At least that’s what I got from it. It made me think about something that a member here said about the brain. The part of our brain that we can’t use is unlocked by the Priesthood and allows for man to do things beyond his normal capacity. Moses parted the sea for example. So what keeps us from being able to do things like? Doubt. I’m not saying that anyone can do what the Prophets can do. They are called to higher keys, but we can ALL do GREAT things. We just have to have perfect faith and confidence in the Lord. And that is shown in obedience.

I was thinking about it there in Sacrament Meeting, "Why do I disobey if I KNOW that it’s true?" There is a small bit of doubt somewhere in my heart and I don’t know what it is. What keeps us from seeing the hand of God like the brother of Jared? Doubt. We have to get rid of that doubt to be 100%. I don’t know what mine is, so I have to look for it. Prayer, study and fasting. Maybe one of those 3 holds my doubt, but by showing greater strength through my faith than my doubt can muster, I know that I will overcome that doubt.

I have seen miracles in my life and more in my mission. Neither is over. I DO want to finish strong because I know that if I finish strong then I will get home strong and it will just be easier to keep going. A lot of missionaries say, "Well I`m finishing up here so I can do what I want and it doesn’t matter because when I get home I’ll just kick it back up again." NO. That’s not how it works and everyone knows it. They just dis-illusion themselves for a time with doubt. I don’t want to be like that. It’s NOT an end, it’s just a check point. I plan on running in to that checkpoint, pick up some water, and just keep running the marathon. It’s a life marathon, not a 2 year sprint. I will get rid of my doubt.

I love you all sooo much! Thank you so much for the letters!!!

Elder Heath